BAIL Yourself Out

From Dream to Reality Socio Economic Mobility

• Kandice Whitaker • Season 3 • Episode 2

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The conversation revolved around the growing trend of Americans acquiring second and third passports as a hedge against instability, the impact of the wealthy elite on society, and the importance of connection and community in a rapidly changing world. Speakers also discussed the significance of building relationships and networks in various industries, including the fashion industry, and the need for authenticity and genuine connection. Finally, they highlighted the importance of recognizing the value of interpersonal connections and pushing for opportunities in space travel, particularly among black people.

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Welcome to the bail yourself out Appy Hour Podcast, where each week we'll help you navigate the corporate jungle. Here's your host, Kandice Whitaker is happy hour. Welcome to bail yourself out Happy Hour pod friends. Here we focus on personal growth, career growth, and entrepreneurship. Our crew is dedicated to providing you with the insights necessary to turn your dreams into reality and get your money up. In each episode, we'll explore strategies rooted in the bail method of resilience, guiding you to conquer challenges and thrive in everything you do. I'm your host, Kandice Whitaker. And at the age of 21. I was a determined young mother who wanted to ensure my best possible light and defied the odds. So I took steps towards achieving the life I desire. I got my master's degree, then I was a sought after consultant, which led me to starting my own company, I have a passion for guiding people into the life they envision through resilience using the bail yourself out approach. So I'm happy you're here. Kick off your shoes and relax your feet. Fill up your favorite drink because the bail yourself out Happy Hour podcast is about to start. You're listening to Kansas with a cake and together we'll learn how to bail yourself out, be believed that you can a accept change is a natural part of any process. I inventory your strengths and the strengths available to you and your network. Now learn from your experience the experience of others. Hey y'all. Hey, welcome to the bail yourself out. Happy Hour podcast. This is your girl Candice with the K hang in with the crew from my mic. Sounds nice. You are going to remember my favorite co host with the most is my cousin Aaron Lloyd. He is here today in the lounge with us. But he also brought his boys from his pod. Kevin Williams and Tim Jones. Welcome, gentlemen. Hello. Thank you for having us today. I'm back cuz, yes. So today I'm sounding like an uncle because I was on a 10 day trip to Egypt. Yes, yes. On a bus tour that was like drinking from a firehose with a man who refused to cover his mouth the entire 10 days. And so now I sound like an uncle. That's okay. So what we're going to talk about on the pod today, I saw something really interesting on CNBC. Have y'all heard of this concept called passport portfolios? I'm going to tell you what it is. So According to CNBC, a record number of American citizens and of course, their rich American citizens are collecting second and also third pass from other countries, right. And the reason they're doing this is to hedge their risk of instability in the US. I'm gonna say that again, for those of you in the back, to hedge their risk of instability in the US, they're keeping their American citizenship, but then they're also adding another passport to their portfolio, and then also a visa. And then here are the reasons that they're citing for this. Your ID, political unrest, social unrest, and oh, yeah, they want ease of business travel. And here are the top countries from which they're getting their other passports, Portugal, Malta, Greece, and Italy. will say, you gentlemen, when I read that, I was like, Wait, man, well, I'm about to get my passport from because I'll say this, if a bunch of rich people are looking for the front door, just in case sugar tombstones. I really think that it could be paranoia, but it might be something to pay attention to. And it's something that I talked to Kevin and other people about, you know, like, Well, should I get a gun? Like, I don't want to own a gun. I'm not a gun owner. But I'm scared of unrest. I'm scared of everybody who's got a gun, right? Yeah. But if I live in a country where we can't agree on truth, if you can't agree on truth, if I live in a country, where we don't respect media anymore, and media is what hold power to account, but now the power have tricked the masses, not trust them media, what they've done it they've tricked the masses to be like, Well, I don't trust the people that are going to hold the people who are going to do crazy things in account, then you don't really have to take polls that keep a country together. And I think that's why you might be seeing some of the rich people getting these passports, and I'll say I've been to Italy and I've been to Greece. I love them both and I can live there. I can live in either one. You know, on one hand, you may look at this through a racial pattern, but I love the fact that you pointed out that is mainly wealthy people. And sadly in America, wealth provides you perspective that the world is getting smaller, young people of wealthy families are traveling a lot more when I was young. Our trip was to go from Brooklyn down to Suffolk, Virginia, and you went to Kings Dominion as the highlight. Now it's got passports and you know, you write that what did I do this summer, your IG got in a national photos on there. So your thought process is different. But it's really interesting from a pattern like the elevation that okay, in the midst of unrest. I can set up cribs in different countries, most people, we just came out of a pandemic, where certain people couldn't even make a move from within the same borough. Yeah, for the same reason. You take it back to Katrina, like how many people when it hit, they got displaced and ended up in cities like Houston and other things like that? Not based on choice, we will call refugees. Yes. And so you have that happening. And so it just relaxes, it just really speaks more and more to this economic life divide that the unrest, that candidate you mentioned, just magnifies. So it's like not having the resources distinguishes your ability to dream, and you just find yourself trapped that, you know, we were talking before the show about living in Maryland, and being able to make the choice, my child has to go to public school. Okay, this county has better public schools. So there's a freedom that comes with having those resources. And I think this is just taking it up to another level. I look at this in two perspectives. First, I'm going to look at it as the Americans how crazy are very wealthy people when they think that America is in danger of crumbling I know all empires fall at some point in time. America wields its power across the world. People don't mess with American it's the same thing as if a white person is walking down the street in Harlem. Nobody's gonna mess with Why? Because you know what? The smoke, the smoke repercussions dudes on the street, you got a free pass, but not me. But Becky does. Now for the people in America to feel like so afraid. So in danger, oh, my God, all these things could happen where they go out, and they get these visas all over the place. It's kind of crazy to me, I asked my son, I always talk to my son. He's in high school, private school, I said, Hey, how many of your friends have visas or passports from other countries, he started rattling off about five to 10 different people, they've got homes. These are the people that Candice is talking about the 1%. And yes, these are definitely those people. It's just kind of interesting. Like I know someone who has friends, some family members, people that were divorced, they moved to other countries over the break. And he's got people that are always flying back and forth. Homes in London, Greece, Italy, whatever, all over the place. But then I look at it from the other side and found these other countries. If you know what I know, Greece, Portugal, don't let Americans in, keep them out. They mess up. This is nothing but gentrification. Because one of the programs that happens is they're purchasing homes. They're purchasing real estate, they're putting businesses and they're pricing them out. They're pricing them out of areas in Greece, that pricing the mountainous areas in Portugal and Spain, you know, with these things. I even heard how in England now they're starting to get visas for other places because they removed themselves from the EU. So people from England are trying to get to the other countries so they can freely travel around the EU. Yeah, that's crazy man. International gentrification. I definitely see that right. And I don't know that I think is crazy, kind of based on everything that's happened here in the US, but don't watch a lot of TV but I did like a Handmaid's Tale and I'm like, Okay, we turned into The Handmaid's Tale. And the reason why I say it's crazy, Candace, is because the 1% has created a problem. Let me create all of the problems. Let me create all of the unrest. Let me suck up all of the resources so that I have a population that is displeased upset can afford to survive. And then let me move on. So it's not that I have $5 billion. That's not enough. I need to have $85 billion. So basically, the 1% of startups, yes. I mean, to me that, like we're destroying worlds, moving on. I mean, how much is enough in finances, to be honest with you, you should want to be able to live a life where you can do anything you want in the world, you should want to be able to make sure that you can set up your generations in the future where they never have a problem. But then after that, how much is enough? The notion of doing whatever you want, sadly enough gets fueled by greed about undermined my own safety by being greedy. No. History has shown when the masses are suffering because of the 1% the masses up rise. It's happened more than once and it'll probably happen again. But Aaron, the answer is this years thinking as a black person, and we tend to think more kind and caring period. They think, let me give some guns. When I was in Egypt, my Egyptian tour guide, the tour guide says to me, you know, I normally have white Americans, and I asked one of the guys because he liked guns. I couldn't understand why he likes guns. I asked him, Why does he feel like he needs a gun and this white man straight up told the black ass Egyptian tour guide, because of slavery, he's afraid we're gonna rise up and he's gonna need a gun. He said it now we've been thinking that was the thought process, but then free enough to say he out loud. But he told the Egyptian tour guide, he messed up. He said what he said. He said, Yes, he said it out loud. Wow. So that's what the gun thing is about Aaron, so I'm bout to go get mine too. So okay, I don't even like guns. But I'm gonna name me one. Apparently, I've been having this debate for about three or four years now, only because I'm a believer in history. And I know that when you have a gun, you know, you're more likely to be a victim of your own weapon than you are to actually stop somebody else. So that slows me down. But I also know that society is fragile. And we saw it due to pandemic, extremely people had a run on toilet paper. Like how they acted about that damn toilet paper. I'm not over it. But what I'm saying it just shows you how when a group of people begin to fear one thing, and then they go after that one thing, you know, you don't have the resources really to sustain. And society is really kept together by belief. And belief is a very human thing that is easily manipulated and can easily fall apart. So that makes me think, you know, I don't want to be the only one without fall apart. So So you take yourself to Walmart, you get yourself some toilet paper, a gun. And a new passport photo. I don't know where you stop shopping. Yeah, listen, I have a Jamaican mother. I already asked her my could you get your birth certificate, because I'm gonna need to get me a Jamaican passport. And IG has made it you know, everybody wants to travel in the world now, but got IG and Facebook. Everybody wants to be an international traveler. Like that part. I mean, and one thing that traveling the world gives you is an international perspective. Absolutely. You know, as much as we have so many things in this country that are wonderful. We have some things that literally suck. I'll give you a perfect example. I on my way home, I had to go through three different airports to in Egypt and Paris, and actually four and then when I got back home to DC, right? So literally, every airport had the same damn cart, you know, the carts for your luggage, and I packed a lot because I was going for two weeks. Right? And I needed options. Okay, so I did lots of eggs. So say carts in Ashwani. all the way south Egypt, damn near the Sudan. They was free. I get up to Cairo, same carts free, I get to Paris, same car free, get to Dallas, same car$6. Yeah, it's true. I think when you do travel across the world, you begin to realize that the idea that America has something special that other countries don't have, like the idea of you can be an entrepreneur here, you could do this. And you can do that. And you can pull yourself up by your bootstraps that exist in other countries. That's not something uniquely American, it was unique that you had plenty of opportunity in the 1700s with a bunch of land and nobody around. But the idea that you can work hard and improve your life exists throughout the world. But do we also want to talk about how in Middle Eastern cultures, there are more women owned businesses, because their husbands financed them? Oh, Jack Welch, you know, but going on, what's your women's liberation? I don't need a man. I don't need one. But one would be nice. 5g and I me, too, is typically better than one. But you know, exactly. And I think our individualistic society is problematic. We went too far with it. Because there's really only so far that you can go alone. And I don't think we really get that. And we're communal people. Our nature as humans is we need connection. There's a reason that people in jail cells in isolation go crazy. We need to be around each other. We need each other. We need romantic relationships. We've definitely gone too far. Tick, tock and IG has made people believe that and then there's the seeds of distrust. The propaganda that has been to some degrees perfectly saturated impacts us from doing business the right way with one another. So it impacts our ability to partner in impacts our ability to be like, Okay, in this regard, Candice, you may have the great ideas. So you're the visionary. Still, why couldn't I attach myself to you and follow you, and not allow some voice in my head to make me think that now I'm subservient. And I was less than Yeah. And so then as opposed to following your genius, I always see you as competition, as opposed to being complimentary and to see where we can get together. But that goes down all the way to those seeds that have been planted, that we will look and admire the 1% and overlook maybe the 85% that's in between where we currently are. And this group so you know, as you're talking about getting multiple passports to move to different countries, can I get my business to be multi state? move up and down. 95? And then not wait, that's referred to one a Jay Z track? Like, can I can I know like be on a train Tim? Can I partner with Kev and be like, Yo, this education consultant thing, we got 95 We got the corridor on lat, you know, one of the other ways in which they trick us the 1%. They always tricking us, where we support policies that harm us that are good for them for the dream, the thought that you know what, one day we might get there, and be them. We might be them. Like always say Halloween, you see these ring cameras, you see the kid come up, when families leave out candy come kids, they grab all the candy take all without the ball and they walk away. And we look down at him like oh, like, look at these poor ghetto children doing this. But if a rich person does it, if you do it with your mind, if you grab everything that's available with your mind through finances and everything, we consider that to be virtuous. Nobody looked down upon Jeff Bezos, we don't look down on these other people. And it's crazy. You're just as evil if you're doing it with your hands if you're doing it with your mind. Yeah, absolutely. I think the American Dream that they basically indoctrinate us with from childhood is really kind of twisted in a way if you think about it, because realistically, the hardest thing to do is to change socio economic class, in the US or anywhere else, right. And there are so many systems, especially in the US, that are really specifically designed, whether overtly or covertly to keep you exactly where the hell you are. Shout out to everybody that got a damn reverse mortgage, get that joint off and stop selling grandma's house you hustling backwards? That's free game right there. I really feel like that is like attached to the level of desperation of buying a lotto ticket. Yeah, no, you may as well take that dollar and wipe your butt with it. Like what and you know, why didn't How To Get Away With A candidate to build on your point is that the one person out of 100 succeeds, even though we forget that the other 99 failed or never had an opportunity. And they get over, you know, they did that to black people. We see Eddie Murphy, we see Oprah, Delta, the rarest, rarest of the rare situations. And you can extrapolate that across business or anything else, not just entertainment. And it's very rare to go from one economic status to another. But they sucker us by plenty out the one that does succeed in our community. What happened historically, is it's only a generational thing. So I might move up the next generation bank right back down. Yeah. And the goalpost continues to move. Like, honestly, if I look at what my wife and I are, and still against him that his current construct with somewhere middle class, in comparison, my parents will probably perceived as middle class. But but you're doing much better than they did. Yes. Like combined was the cherry on top of it. Yeah. So with the goalposts continuing to move, but you're still selling the same dream, having young adult children in their early 30s and mid 20s. They're like, okay, Will I ever be able to afford anything? Yeah, but I'm going to school that gets a degree to do these things. And then, you know, we present entrepreneurship as this hustle and then you get to like, oh, yeah, like I want to, I don't want to work for nobody. I want to work for myself. And that's the biggest lie of the world because if you're an entrepreneur, you work for every client. So minimum rated one for hopefully many many and then if you don't have many then you really out the game, which is a whole nother pod. It's really a high wire act like you know, which heart do you want? That's all it is exactly. Well far. It's like which hustle Do you want? When you get off at five o'clock, and they tell you that based upon your 10 year you get this amount of holiday and this that the other, versus when you got to have the HR meetings with yourself. You try to make everything a business expense. How can I write this trip off to Egypt? What did I gotta have a meeting in this court? I got a receipt from this. I gotta do this. I gotta talk to my tax guy. This was a business trip. I just came from my accountant bad. So I mean to bring up fresh wounds. This is a good place to wrap it. We'll be back. Get the full bail yourself out Happy Hour lounge community by signing up for our community newsletter. And when you sign up, you get a free download of your choice. And you will be entered Limited Edition earlier stopped on podcast feature now monthly draw. Sign up today. About pod.com. We'll see you there. So tell me are you enjoying the show? Going ahead and rate us five stars and leave a comment. Now back to the show. Welcome back to the bail yourself out Happy Hour lounge. I'm here chillin with my dudes from my mic. Sounds nice. We got Kev Tim and Aaron. And we have been talking about a whole lot of things started out with rich people collected passports. And then we kind of went into group economics and being black in the country and all that kind of stuff. One of the points that Tim brought up that I thought was really, really interesting. He was talking about how we as black people can do better at collaborating to make our businesses grow, make more money, I don't know, get jobs, because one of the things that I thought when you said that Tim was, you know, that's really how the people in the 1% do what they do. They're the same people with businesses who connect with their friends, the people, they like love interest, they continue to do business with them. And if people really understood how incestuous the businesses are in the US, like we're really owned by like three or four large conglomerate corporations like everything for real. Yeah, exactly. That's the motto. I don't know if that's what we want to do. Or another thought that I had when you said that was you know what I was in Egypt, they got same stuff we got here, right? They got towels. They got toilet paper, they got lunchboxes, how come we don't import nothing from Egypt? They around the same price as China as black people. When we have our businesses. Why do we say let's go to China? Who my 12 year old daughter said to me Mom, why do we import so much from China when there are enemies? There? Gonna be mad my 13 year old daughter. Let me correct that. Because you can be big man when she hears when she said that. I was like first thought was because we've always done it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Because they built the infrastructure. And that's where it's cheapest at that time. And you know, they're beginning to move off it try to get into other places. But China is not the only cheap place. Yeah, not. Right now you see a rush to find the cheapest labor places like China no longer becoming the cheapest labor. But what happens is the economy increases. And then the work is that would work for, for example, 50 cent. Now they're making $1.50 and China, because we've been there for 2030 years. So now you see India and other places becoming areas where companies are like, well, let me go there because then labor is cheaper. China has no, I don't know if it's cultural. But they have no respect for intellectual property. They have no respect for patents, you see the violation. I don't know if that's just the way they culturally do business. Because that could be considered maybe a very western thing. Patents and things of that nature. But you run the risk. You get your stuff produced over there. You got it, Pat, and you might find a Chinese company make your product. I'm telling you, because I saw this dude in Egypt wearing these Air Force ones with a check came off the that was an Air Force none. That was not part of the Nelly song. Building I think this notion of coming together that I can look at it biblically where it talks about what is Unity does strange. It talks about we're one body made up of many members and it gives us the metaphor that you know, the eye doesn't tell the hand and I don't have need of you. We could also look at it as I would say like, I feel like Wu Tang should be pedagogy like Wu Tang should be an approach in the sense of you had failed individual attempts. Yeah, that then constructed this thing. Together in in the midst of dysfunction. They believed and created something that literally is known worldwide. And then from that good thing, now, meth dead, you can go do all of those things, the individual saying cannabis of about 1%, I just came back from a huge ed tech conference in San Diego ASU plus GSV. And you get to see it play out, like there is a different level of how a network is a different level of how things get exchanged. But one of the things is that they operate absent of the fear of failure, they don't operate like that, we often have used credit borrowed screen, just to even start. So then we are trying to be liberated in our entrepreneurial mind still being shackled with this, you only get one shot. I love the song, but it's really a lie. But we operate with that you only get one shot. And so then it makes you fearful. And so then it becomes Okay, well, if I'm going to go down, I'm just going to do it myself. And then you have this individual thing, like they're presenting the individualism to us. But then behind closed doors, they're operating as a squad. And then we go to colleges, some of us we go to business schools, there's no course on effective partnering. Wow, they will teach you the legal structures of a partnership. But there is no course that teaches you how to identify and foster partnerships. They also teach you how to destroy the competition. Yeah, and defeat the competition. How does outperform them and make sure that they are down, you know it as you speak, and you're one of the things is, you have to have my own business now for the past, I guess, five years or so four or five years. And one of the things I started do I work in education, I'm like, Oh, hey, I offer a particular set of services. I have friends who offer different types of services. So I always try to do referrals and things to get some she was able to get Aaron working on something, you're hopefully gonna get to Tim it into some schools and do some things. And you know, one of the things that we all offer different types of services. Sounds like maybe we need to form some sort of consortium. So if any one of us gets into a school, then we can offer everybody wins. Yeah, ever, we can offer all those types of services. And I'm working on expanding it to some additional people. One of the things that my son, like I said before, he goes to a private school. And it was like a first grade, maybe like six or seven year old birthday party at his birthday party this morning. One parent hadn't seen in a while, says, Hey, what's going on? She says, oh, you know, I just started this new fashion line. I was over in Italy, I'm sourcing out things, you know, I'm back and forth to Italy fashion. Now. This is right. And she's talking to the guy I'm talking to? And he says, oh, have you talked to so. So Karen over there? I'm there she works at Goldman Sachs in the fashion sector. It's like, oh, you should go talk to her runs over there. had a brief conversation, she comes back. Oh, thank you so much. It's like, you know, I'm really having a problem for quality control. It's like, oh, I got a good friend that's in Italy that works in the fashion industry whips out the phone calls, puts you in contact. He's like, now you don't have to travel as much just like that. One of the things we have to do sometimes is in our community, we try to keep it hold everything close to the vest. We don't want to talk about when we do it. We don't want to share. Yeah. And it puts you in a bad position I was talking about when I was young. I had this interview for Bert Pradel, the accountant to the stars. And I'm sitting in the office waiting for the interview. Tough works. I know apart from Howard, like yowhatsapp Puff, we're talking briefly. I didn't say your puff put in a word for your boy. Why? Because I'm just like that. It's just puff. I should have said put in a word for you. Boy, the way that things turned out. 30 years later. Good thing. But listen, you would have been swallowed. Kev was in charge. To prove you're guilty to many people talking about you bruh. And it's not new, right? We've been talking since the 90s. When the Williams Ben told us I'm not I would you can just start out to my girl, Wendy Williams. When she know what kind of witches speaking to, I feel like, there is probably just as much if not more unlearning, that has to happen in the process of learning. So that we can really move different because the plan that you are mapping out should really be okay. If we're going to do that. Then every school that we may get into whatever it is that we're building, we put in 5% into this partnership part that keeps things moving, but it's almost like you've been hungry so long, and you become so fearful that you fail. Like, I gotta get this entire bag right now, like, we're not understanding that, hey, having this podcast conversation. Sometimes it's like, Oh, if you want me, how much am I charging doing this because I'm not doing anything for free. And we think that it's either you're doing it for free, or you're actually getting cash as opposed to well, this is about relationship building. This is about network. Yep. This could just be about having a great conversation. You don't know who listens to this podcast? It's like, Oh, I heard you mentioned that. Let me holla at you. And it's that the other but you cut all of that off, if you operate from this notion. You're a while your cousin asked me to do to determine how many followers she got, like, but that happens all the time it does, we end up being our own worst enemy, because the enemy's plan becomes our enemy. And it was still blaming them. And they like you ain't even on my radar for me to even check for you, for real for real data, start making enough moves for people to come match. You know, it's like making the sample that a record, like the record gotta blow up before the owner. Yeah, we won't even touch it, as opposed to you know, what, hey, I'm a rock with them. When they come at me, they're gonna be like, Yo, you did a good thing I might have to pay but look at you know, where it's gotten me or what have you. So we definitely got to learn to move different. You're right, Tim, for example, if you look at the YouTube space, and I know I watch a lot of the creators who work in the area of technology, computers, phones, that whole world, all of those leading people who work in that industry collaborate with each other, they all work together, they're doing the same thing. They're fighting for views, but they all work together because they realize that one that they grow the pie, they all benefit. And two, they can share viewership to grow themselves. So I do think that it would be very natural for them to be like, Oh, well, I got 3 million followers, this person got 2 million followers. I'm not going on his show, because he's nipping at my heels. But that's not how they think they think let's collaborate. So I think that's key to your point. And I think golf is this for a reason. Cats love golf, in the 1%. They love to have fun of the game. But we all know what that's really about. That's about relationship building. That's about networking. You know, country clubs. It's nice to play tennis. That's about networking, the airline lounges inside of airports. Yes. But literally, since my sister has talked about hitting the airports that's like, Oh, you got to earn the right to go to the Delta lounge? Yeah, I didn't lounge because they look at you different than that's tastes different inside of there. It's like this nose cleaner. Yes, that's facts. We have to build our own space and be willing to do it. Yeah, within our community, right, I think you can have authenticity and genuine connection in spaces where people like, love and trust each other. And I don't think it is one space, but I think it would be multiple spaces where people can build community. And you know, it is through those extensions of community and being open with the people you know, and the things you have access to, that we can grow collectively. I know within myself, I started a virtual community of entrepreneurs. Mine was basically off of I have a business where I do training, change management, event planning, consulting, that is what I do. And being an entrepreneurs ghetto, you need other entrepreneurs with whom you can talk about the stuff that you're thinking about, like, Yo, should I really spend my time trying to get a woman on business certification? Or should I be networking to try to get more contracts, like the stuff we think about, right? As you know, Tim mentioned earlier, having an HR meeting by yourself, like, what is our strategy for the next quarter, right? creating those spaces where you can talk to people with whom have similar challenges and things that they're going through? Because when you talk to people who are not in similar situations, even if they love you, even if they're your family, you sound like you're bragging when you talk about expanding your product line, but when you talk about okay, well, I'm trying to move through the country they don't they don't get that at all. As much as they love you. They just don't get it. You know, sometimes, I swear my grandfather still thinks I sell drugs, but I don't pop. I think we are really the first generation who's had access to things like this. And so we need to be the one no doubt what are most definitely were the first generation so you know, as much as we have come here kind of looking for those things created. I think we need to make them because then here and then coming through that front door that Aaron talked about in the last segment. You know, I think a lot of times the black community gets accused of not having things in place. I think the truth of the matter is we've tried every avenue in life we've tried to improve. And I believe that there are people out there who have tried networking and tried to create spaces for black networking. But to me, the problem is what Candice just mentioned, I think it's the individual, us being open and willing to be sharing and willing to build relationships and to be vulnerable with each other. I think that's the biggest thing that's holding us back. Not that we don't create spaces where we get together, because I think that happens all over the country and have been going on for decades. But I don't think that we're willing to open ourselves up in a manner in which we should also think that we don't realize what it means to network and to give something to someone else. I think we think it's more complicated than it really is. Whereas it's much more simple. As Kevin just pointed out the two examples of what networking that was going to change that woman circumstances were very simple phone calls, connection between people. And I think a lot of times we think it's much more if I give something I'm going to be much more involved, it's going to take away from what I'm trying to do. And we're much more reluctant to help somebody or put ourselves out there. I agree with what you're saying, and I understand what you're saying. But it reminds me of a conversation that I had with my oldest daughter when she was little. I remember we were out somewhere. And I said to her, we were just sitting there people watching. And I said, Oh, that's a pretty little girl. And I saw her eyes fill up with tears. And I was like, What is that about? And I said to her, are you jealous? She said, Well, you think she's pretty nice to hold on to things can be true. Just because she's pretty. That doesn't mean you're not. Yeah. And I think that's the problem. I think that there's a lot of people that don't understand two things can be true. Just because I'm lighting your candle. It doesn't mean I'm putting mine out. Absolutely. It did. Yeah, definitely. And Aaron, to your point, you think about us that we created an investment group called progressive investors. When we were in our early 20s, we were so far ahead of the curve, we didn't even realize we were on the curve, that there was a curve that there was a curve to be on. So fear, life, adults, this foolish, whatever you want to whatever you want to call it got in the way, and we took our little pennies, literally. And we bailed, thank God, we stay together from a brotherhood standpoint, because the truth is the love that we freely show one another as brothers, if we would have allowed that to spill into our professional attributes, and our business acumen. Where we would be right now God only knows. But thank God that our love roommate. Yep. So then you come back. And we're in our earlier 50s. And now it's brothers making investments. Yes. Now we're back into that. What we're coming back with these years of lessons and scars, and now we're trusted each other to a degree that we weren't trusted each other when we were physically with each other every day. Wow, that makes that makes sense. We also understand the pain, if we understand finances, of what our investment group would have been the opportunity lost the opportunity loss, honesty, the seven figures, that was last year. Yes, that's you know, I'm sure more multiple seven figures. And so one of the things that I tried to do, I always referenced our group. I love our brotherhood, you know, to my son, who's now 18. You know, I always talk to him about investments and things. He always sends me investment advice. Now he's telling me how you listen to what your friend's father's is talking about. What if we didn't make it clear? These are millionaires and billionaires and billionaires, right? So he says, insider trading. Whatever it takes, he sent me a text yesterday in the middle of the school day. He's like, Hey, you guys should look at this stock. And also me and my friends want to start an investment group. I've been trying to get the black students together to start an investment group. I was like, yeah, yeah. Loctite you should do this. Y'all are going off to college. And he says We want to start an investment group. I was like, yeah, that's fantastic. Started Now 18, who knows what you're doing? I love that. And you got the framework, Kevin, that you can shell him. Yeah, the legal aspect of how to do it. Absolutely. And you know, going back to networking, and kind of how we interact with each other. And also sometimes within our community, it's difficult. When you're in strange spaces. You know how it is, you're the black person in this space, it's predominantly white, it feels uncomfortable, you feel like everybody's looking at you strange, yada, yada. To prove yourself, you have to prove yourself. Some one of my son's friends was like the head of human capital, there's a title for you, the head of human capital at Goldman Sachs. And we were talking, and he's came from a poor white upbringing. And he's talking to me, he says, Listen, he's like, I walk into places, and I feel like an imposter. It's like, I feel like they're gonna know that I'm not like them. You know, he's like, and I'm white. I can only imagine what it's like for others. It was a great honest conversation, I really kind of appreciate it. But one of the things that we have to do, we have to have these conversations with each other, we have to be able to network and say, like this one guy, one of the parents. He says to me, he's like, Hey, here's Kevin. He's an education. And he introduced me to another guy, there's someone so and he also does some gifting, and education philanthropist, and this dude is a multi billionaire. And he puts us together. Now, of course, we didn't pick him, wow, why are we putting together then we're just having a general conversation about education, some people that we have in common, and it was just really interesting, where I wouldn't put people on that opposite ends of the spectrum together. But he was able to put us together and we could have those conversations. And sometimes we just have to go out and just do those things like, because the truth of the matter is thinking that we're on opposite sides of the spectrum is actually a misperception. You're right, but it's become reality. And that's how we move and Candice what she was saying earlier, like building up that virtual community of entrepreneurs, I'm constantly talking to myself like, bro, if you thought it, you're worth it. Like, if you're in this space, you're in this space, because you can be 10 toes down in this space, like don't stargaze because then the bright light blinds you from seeing what moves you need to make. And so sometimes we are so critical on ourselves, like, I have a virtual community of hip hop education. And people will come up to me like, Yo, thank you for what you've done. Like, oh, my goodness, you're so dope. And at times, that's hard to take in. And it's not from a standpoint of not wanting to be conceited, but it's like, Yo, like, Okay, we did that. What else can we do? Where else can we go? They see the 20 some odd years of that hard work that you've done, Tim? There, maybe that you're not considering. And I think the belief of imposter syndrome is real. I think more people have it as a writer when I saw Aaron Sorkin, who to me is probably one of the elite screenwriters to ever walk the planet. He did a few good men, and a bunch of other things. But just for the audience, you can't handle the truth. He won an Academy Award. And he got up there having won an Academy Award, all he talked about is not feeling worthy. And this is a person who had probably had 10 TV show that that point about not feeling worthy, not feeling like he could create not feeling like he could do something like he ended up doing. And I just thought if Aaron Sorkin could feel like that, after that career, then I don't ever, ever need to question myself. You know, I just think that in practice syndrome is real. I think we all need to acknowledge it. Because I think almost everybody feels it at some point. And it's not true. I agree. You know, I attributed impostor syndrome, probably up until this conversation as being part of having to over prove yourself, especially in corporate spaces. So, you know, my thought process always has been, is it imposter syndrome? Or is it a logical response to how you've been treated? I think it's fear. I think fear is natural in human beings. And I think we get scared. And we believe what other people tell us about themselves. So when they list a resume, which is for everybody, oh, we're putting your best foot forward, a highlight of everything you've done. So when you see that in other people, you give it all of the grace in the world. Oh, that's fantastic. And then you might look at yourself and be like, well, how graded what I'm putting down or you know, that I listed that. But, you know, that was actually kind of easy for me to do. So I just think it's fear. It's natural for human beings to not be comfortable and not to be naturally confident. You know what, Candice, I think it's a combination of both. And you have mentioned before the show that this is the first time you having a panel of men And, and I think we got to be able to have these safe spaces to have these conversations because we do live in a society that's very genderized. And you talked about with your daughter that two things could be true that I could think that she's pretty. And you're pretty as well, that hearing you say that, as a black woman, I know from just having business relationships, there are fights and battles and ish that you got to deal with, that we will never have to deal with that is not saying that our path is layered with gold bricks. So I think sometimes we do a disservice to one another. And it's not happening in this conversation. This is beautiful. But sometimes we'll put like our perception of a diagnosis and make it fit on to other people, where we have to understand enough to know that we'll never fully understand. I'll never fully know what you face when you show up. But the more that I get to know you, I can learn how to be a better support. And then I have to also accept that I can support without fully having lived all of the experiences to which I'm supporting. I'm going to cut that's never going to happen. One of the first jobs that I had consulting, and I'm working for a principal, and I'm like, I'm always in my desk, I'm working from her desk, and I'm like, is it feeling really uncomfortable? I don't really know you that? Well, you know, I appreciate the opportunity. But you know, I'll just go find a little closet someplace and go do my work and come back then she's like, No, no, I want you here. You change the dynamic. When women come in here, they treat things differently. Some of them No, you. It's a whole different energy when you're in this room than when you're not. Thank you for saying that. I definitely appreciate all that you guys bring to the table. And from the very beginning, when I started this podcast, I was bugging Aaron like yo, I gotta have Tim and Kev. I didn't even know what we was gonna talk about up until this morning. But this is exactly why I didn't know what was gonna happen. But I definitely knew that there will be some synergy and I was like, just do go make me cry on my own damn podcast. Definitely glad to be here. I like it. Good Energy, simpatico. Absolutely. I was gonna say that Kevin, I just enjoyed being on the show does not live by Aaron. Yeah. It's a pleasure. We're not getting yelled at by Aaron. Thanks for the vacation. I didn't know you were scaring them. So they didn't want to come to my show? No, they're like herding cattle. Listen, so I'll tell you really quickly about what this is. So I'm working on a project with 1 million black businesses. And if you are unfamiliar with what that is, I recently learned about it myself. John Hope Bryant I think his last name is he has this foundation called Operation Hope. And he has this sub organization called 1 million black businesses where they offer free coaching and business services and loans and help with all sorts of applications that you'll need to become a business. So that is free game. If you are a business owner, and you're listening, I'll leave that part in check it out Operation Hope but through that connection, because I'm teaching some classes for them. And I learned about this project through a partnership with NASA hold the 2040 vision. So the 2040 vision with NASA NOW I swear to God, Google this I am not lying. This shit is about to sound crazy. They're preparing for lunar colonies. For those of y'all who went to school in the ghetto life on the moon in 2040. For my hook fam in the back NASA got this whole plan. And they brought it through, you know, these very black organizations that they send in these good white folk up in 2014 At the moment, because I said we ain't going to help you pack the boxes. But our raw black like last time you put me on a boat. I know what happened. Okay. Wow, what a way to book in the show. We started talking about people getting passports and visas to other countries to now we are talking about building cribs. Now I wonder Will there be a luna ghetto going oh, will they It's like yeah, no, don't don't homes over there. Yeah. Now we don't go over there be like, yeah, being able to get wings and fries. Oh great 117 We don't go about creating 117 He's talking about be like, Yeah, I'm performing on the moon. Like, is the Beyonce concert gonna have a tour date? I don't like long flights, how long it take to get there? Yeah. And I think that's crazy. Like, like, Do you need a passport to get there? Yes. Like, what's the TSA check that get on a flight to the Moon. As you're selling this to me, I'm thinking, you know, my younger self. Obviously, at this age, things have passed me by but I'm like, okay, for my son. I'm thinking we could do some schooling. If you're already in the design world, like this is the opportunity this how Bill Gates to do it of Oracle, Steve Jobs. They were all born right around the same time, they just Right Place Right Time. That's only 16 years away. But we bra we focus on our health we could. Definitely, this is definitely the type of thing that black people should be telling their young people about, you know, people like Kyle and Isaiah, and you talking about Stan, you said my stem reimagined is age. And it's really an opportunity for them, like the younger ones. So yes. Like I said, and I and I is 13. Right, by computers, the internet rebooted. But then when you think about it, I think one of the biggest challenges for us as parents, uncles, loved ones, is how do we push our children to take advantages of realities that are even beyond our imagination? That Candice as you were saying, like we are really at Mass, that first generation as a younger to start my own. I'm gonna make these connects, and I'm making a movement. Most of us grew up with parents that just went to work. And most of us grew up in homes, where it's like, listen, the business of this house stays in the house. So that's why we don't share Yeah, like we grew up did like the show Get Smart, like if the violence that we tell them Miss Johnson my business. Because we all had hardships, you could talk about going on vacation. No, there's like you when you go, we're going away. When you go up north outside, like we just had these coats. They didn't even tell us just get dressed. We're getting in the car and go, but they didn't tell us we didn't know. To the point now, even our family like we have family meetings about choosing vacation destinations. What? We didn't have family meetings about what was for dinner. We would just hope wash your hands. Dinner's ready. Yeah. have the nerve to say what they were serving. You didn't want? Oh, you didn't put no extra meal for you? Yeah, be like, period. It's like, oh, you really thought your opinion matters when I want to hear your opinion? I'll give it to you. My son is good for that, oh, I don't want that. You don't want what? I don't think I don't feel like that who said eating had anything to do with film? I think that's because we all had in our hardships in our homes, to varying degrees. And that made people we felt shame. You know, black people have been feeling a shame since slavery. And I think that perceived shame kept us quiet. And I think that was the reason don't Thomas Johnson because your mom's worried about being laid on the light pill. She don't know that Ms. Johnson's laid on the light bill, the water bill and electricity being cut off already. We'll share food. But it leads us to today where we're really still doing it. And it's indicative of the Benzes that are being driven up to the hood, you know, you got your section eight housing and your BMW, Bo, get your life. Yeah, that's because when you don't have a lot of options, that instant gratification that can make you happy. And you don't have other options that look pretty good. So that bends becomes all you can get. Because like you said, kid, just the odds of that person. Going from one economic status to the other is probably unrealistic. Anyway. So rock bands is all you got. And as I will say to my cousin when we talk about these kinds of things, and I understand why my grandparents drink on the weekends, yo fellas, yeah. Yes, yes. Yes. This is a great place to wrap it. Thank you so much. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you so much for having us. Yes. Thanks for having us. We'll be more than happy to come back. Yeah, check out my dudes or my mic. Sounds nice anywhere. You can get your pods and on all socials, right? Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Yes. And when my mic, sounds nice, gets his act together. When we start having guests you know, we're going to bring you on campus allow us that On behalf of my mic sounds nice please, please continue to rock with a friend, sister, cousin or colleague, your auntie Kandice Whitaker, bail yourself out. And if you don't think you have something to be bailed out of after you listen, you will realize that you do. Yeah, that was amazing. I love you and I mean it. Thanks for listening we out peace. Wasn't that a great interview? Hold up before you grab your hat and head out. Make sure you make your way to facebook and join the bail yourself out pod Facebook group. That's where you'll find your virtual co workers luxuriating and chatting. Thank you so much for listening. And if you enjoy the show, please leave a review. That's how we keep the lights on. If you're on social media follow your girl Candace was a Kay Whitaker. And you know what, I'd love to hear from you. With that. I love you. And I mean it because there are people who hate in the world for no reason I choose to love for no reason. I believe that the great Martin Luther King Jr. said hate is too great a burden to bear so I choose to love he show up

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